“Should I yell ‘fire’ instead of ‘help’?” I hadn't heard anyone ask that question in years and then in the space of a few weeks, it came up in two self-defense workshops.
This is a question that has been answered before by Empowerment Self-Defense instructor Lauren Taylor in “Should I Yell Fire,” but because it is still out there as a possible self-defense response to sexual assault, I'm going to address it, too.
Are there circumstances under which yelling “fire” might be an effective self-defense strategy?
Empowerment self-defense training is not memorizing a list of “shoulds;” instead, it involves learning a range of tools and practicing using those tools while assessing situations, the context, and the people involved. In other words, there’s no formula of “if this happens, then do this….”
So with empowerment self-defense, the question becomes not “should I yell ‘fire’?” but “are there circumstances under which yelling ‘fire’ might be an effective self-defense strategy?”
It is not common or typical, but there may indeed be circumstances under which yelling “fire” might be an effective self-defense strategy. It would depend upon an individual assessing what's happening, what they want to happen, making a decision about whether yelling is the best strategy in their circumstances, and, if so, what words or phrases will get the response they want.
It’s important to note that, no matter which tools you choose to use or not use, no matter what, you are not responsible for another person’s behavior: if they violate your boundaries, they are responsible.
Why yelling “fire” is not typically a tool offered in an Empowerment Self-Defense program
Voice is one of the most versatile tools presented in empowerment self-defense programs. An important facet of that tool is specific messaging: communicating to the person attacking you, others, and/or yourself your assessment of what is happening and/or what you want.
Yelling “fire” if you are experiencing sexual violence does not communicate to the person attacking you, others, and/or yourself your assessment of what is happening and/or what you want. However, there are words or phrases you can use that say what you want, don't want, or name the violence, such as:
No!
Leave me alone!
That is harassment! Stop!
What you are doing is assault! Don't touch me again!
Another facet of voice is volume. People are most likely to sexually assault someone they know, and their aggression often begins with minor boundary violations and then increases. Likewise, your response to these violations may begin quietly, then grow louder. So I recommend a message that is not only specific, but will work at any level of violation and at any volume. Saying “fire” softly is unlikely to convey the message that a behavior is unacceptable, whereas statements like “No;” “leave me alone;” “that is harassment, stop;” or “what you are doing is assault, don't touch me again,” whether said soft or loud, send a clear message.
