Parenting and Crisis

Alena Schaim, Executive Director of Resolve (also offers IMPACT in New Mexico), offers things to think about in her blog post "Parenting in Times of Crisis." She suggests we think about:

How do our past patterns around trauma influence this moment?

What is within our realm of control right now?

What is our plan for our mental health and our family's well-being?

How can we still care for our communities with physical distancing?

What is our plan for conflict?

How can we teach our children love and support when things are tough?

Supporting Teens in Setting Boundaries with Friends

If your teen is having lots of screen time with friends, some of these things may happen with a friend:

• their friend needs a lot of support during this pandemic and your teen is feeling emotionally drained.
• their friend is great to hang out with but is sometimes thoughtless and your teen's feelings are often hurt.
• their friend does all the talking and your teen rarely has a chance to talk.

In "5 Ways to Help Teens Set Boundaries with Friends," Barbara Greenberg makes these suggestions:

1. Teach your teens to label their feelings.

2. Encourage teens to heed their feelings and intuition.

3. Explain to your teens that they can't be all things to all friends.

4. Discuss different ways to set boundaries.

5. Look at your behavior in relationships.

Teaching Children Body Autonomy

In "Seven Steps to Teaching Children Body Autonomy," M.D. Shalon Nienow identifies 7 things for parents to teach their children about their bodies.

• Teach the anatomic names for their body parts.
• It is OK to say NO.
• Ask permission before touching someone else's body
• There is a difference between touch that makes them feel happy and touch that feels uncomfortable, scary, or confusing.
• There are OK secrets (what you are getting your dad for his birthday) and not OK (hiding when you have been hurt or hurt someone else or someone has touched your body in a way you do not like)
• It is not their fault if something happens to their body they didn't like.

Improve Media Reporting of Violence

Level Up, a feminist organization in the UK, has published guidelines for the press on improving how domestic violence is reported. These guidelines broadly apply to any reporting of gender-based violence. 

You can use the following guidelines to evaluate news articles about domestic violence.

Accountability: does the article place responsibility solely on perpetrators of violence?

Accuracy: does it accurately name the crime as domestic violence?

Dignity: does it avoid sensationalizing language, invasive or graphic details.

Equality: does it avoid insensitive or trivializing language or images. Does it use words and images that emphasize the seriousness and danger of domestic violence.

Images: does it avoid using stock images that reinforce myths about domestic violence. Does it use images that reveal the personhood of those who experience violence.

Boundaries During a Pandemic

If you're struggling with boundaries during social distancing, you're not alone. Resolve (IMPACT New Mexico) staff member Marie Schow says boundaries continue to be important and that it continues to be important to respect the limits that we set while recognizing the needs of others around us.

Resolve staff spends a lot of time talking about boundaries – how to set them, how to respect them, and why they’re important. They know boundaries are the key to feeling safe and happy in all realms of life. Boundaries are an expression of love and care. And right now, during an unprecedented health crisis, boundaries are more important than ever.

Read more about Marie's perspective on Boundaries during a Pandemic.

What is an Authentic Apology for Committing Sexual Violence?

In her Ted Talk "The Alchemy of an Apology,"  Eve Ensler, playwright and activist, outlines four steps to an authentic apology for committing sexual violence:

• Self-interrogate: what contributed to your being capable of sexual violence?
• Undertake a detailed account of what you did
• Open your heart and allow yourself to feel what the person(s) you victimized felt.
• Take responsibility for your actions.

A New Era of Boundary Setting

In "A New Era of Boundary Setting," Shay Orent from sister chapter IMPACT Boston says that "being able to set clear boundaries now is more important than ever in order to PROTECT ourselves and our community." 

She writes about what has and hasn't changed, examples of ways we can model good boundary setting, and reminders why effective boundary setting is so important now. Check out "A New Era of Boundary Setting."

Thank you, Shay!