Revenge Porn is Illegal

Revenge porn has become a growing problem over the last several years. Photos that were once consensually sent within a relationship are then shared without permission from the sender, after a breakup to blackmail or seek revenge. Since 2014, revenge porn has been a criminal offense in the state of Illinois. 

Revenge porn is a class 4 felony (18 and up) with potential hefty fines and up to 2 ½ years probation. Victims can file civil suits for damages resulting in the offender paying hundreds of thousands of dollars.

If the victim is under the age of 18, the offender could face child pornography charges even if the offender received the photos during a romantic relationship. Anyone charged with this offense is required to be on the sex offender registry, along with high fines and prison time.
Maple Joy

#ImpactChicago #RevengePorn #IllinoisStateLaw  

IMPACT Grads Talk about Consent and Boundaries

 "I'm much more comfortable dropping into my 'take me seriously' voice." Chloe

Graduates who have reported intrusive or unsafe situations after the class, often say taking a strong stance and using a powerful voice (no matter how loud) was typically all they needed to do to disrupt a potentially uncomfortable or threatening situation. At its foundation, IMPACT is focused on people building the skills to be able to say YES to what they want and NO to what they don’t want.

We recently asked IMPACT Chicago Facebook Friends if IMPACT had helped them to come to any realization or new understandings about consent and boundaries. Below are some responses.

IMPACT Chicago graduate Lauren notes that she developed a  deep understanding of consent and bodily autonomy:

"I took the course almost 10 years ago, but since then I have thought about consent 100% differently. Not just my own--but now that I have a son--I respect his bodily autonomy and teach him that his body is HIS--and that no one has a "right" to it. I hope as he grows up this translates to a better understanding of the way he approaches other people and respects their boundaries."

Mingkwan took her first course in Tokyo and then at IMPACT Chicago. She shared two stories about how she has put her IMPACT training into practice.
"I was walking towards Tokyo station at night when I saw a man strangling a woman. It was a very crowded place in Tokyo. So many people were looking at them, but they didn't do anything. I wasn't sure if it was domestic violence or he had mental issues but I started to observe to see if he had weapons. Then I grabbed her hand and we ran from there together. I asked if she wanted to call the police but she refused. After she left, I called the police and told them what happened and asked them to patrol the area."

"This happened after I moved back to Thailand. I was walking through a dark and isolated alley at night when  a man approached me. He said, 'Honey, I want to ask you something. Can I f--- you.' Without IMPACT, I'd have been terrified and felt powerless. But I started to observe my surroundings. Even though it was a dark alley, I lived nearby and knew the area well. I knew that I could ask for help and he was standing faraway from me so he couldn't harm me. So I said, 'No, I'm good. I don't think having sex with you would be fun. If you were good at it, girls would have come to you and you wouldn't have to stand here and ask this question. He looked really shocked. I walked away. I know you've heard this a thousand times, but thank you for transforming my life."

IMPACT Chicago graduate Chloe (pictured and quoted above) also wrote about her experience of the IMPACT Core Program in IMPACT, Diva Remix.

Passing It On: Being an IMPACT Mom

Martha with granddaughter & daughter

With Mother’s Day coming up this weekend, I have been thinking about IMPACT and parenting. I’ve been an IMPACT Instructor for 29 years, making me an IMPACT Mom since my daughter was 6. When she was a teenager, she would bring boys she was dating to IMPACT graduations. I now have a granddaughter and joyfully see my daughter and son-in-law teaching her consent and respect for her own and others’ boundaries.

In honor of Mother’s Day, I asked other IMPACT staff who are moms in what ways IMPACT has influenced their parenting. 

IMPACT Chicago Instructor Molly says:

As a parent, IMPACT has given me insight into teaching consent and respecting the requests of my children with regard to their bodies. I definitely have to stop myself sometimes when I find myself saying something that may seem innocuous, but upon reflection, is actually perpetuating negative ideas about consent. Being a parent is the hardest and best job I have ever had, and having complicated conversations is part of that. IMPACT has helped broaden my awareness of ways to counter the messages we receive about who we should be, what we should look like, and how we should behave toward each other.

Molly & daughter practicing their verbal boundary setting skills

IMPACT Chicago Office Coordinator Kathleen says:

My daughter was my motivator through Core. She was in my mind as I delivered blows with tears in my eyes. I’ve never been particularly afraid or concerned for my safety, but once she came into my life I worried for her. The greatest outcome of taking Core and DAAR was unexpected. Sure, I feel like I can protect myself and my daughter. That was the goal. But I didn’t realize that modeling strength would be so powerful. After taking Core and DAAR, after watching and learning from Katie, Margaret, Molly and Martha, after being supported and “threatened” by Rob, Mark, Ben and Nat, I walked away with a confidence that I didn’t expect. 

Kathleen & daughter

Parenting is hard and I really struggle with instilling my daughter with confidence and self-worth. She often tells me that she isn’t strong. She’s the smallest in her class and other kids tell her she isn’t strong, so she believes it. I put a lot of effort into reassuring her and building her up, but it barely makes a dent in her middle-school aged self-doubt. She is a child during a strange time when toys are labeled for either boys or girls, and girls are expected to start dreaming of their wedding when they are young. To try to counteract the more plentiful examples of meek, weak and helpless girls who give up much of themselves, I intentionally seek out movies and books with girls and women in strong lead roles. But since I’ve taken IMPACT classes I have another weapon against the weak girl stereotype. I make no secret of how badass taking those classes makes me feel. I tell her how strong I am. I tell her how strong my classmates are. I tell her how strong the teachers and my co-workers are. I didn’t expect IMPACT to affect my parenting. I didn’t know that I would walk away with the bonus to getting to model this level of strength and confidence to my child. She knows I am strong and she’s looking forward to taking the IMPACT Girls Program this summer so she can prove how strong she is.

It is very inspiring to realize ways that we all, whether Moms or not, can pass on what we have learned in IMPACT to the next generation and beyond.

Martha Thompson

IMPACT Instructor

Administrative Co-Chair

What is Sexual Consent

Consent is an agreement between partners about engaging in sexual activity. Laws vary by state and by situation, but in general consent is about communication.  

Two key elements of consent communication are:

Giving consent for one thing, one time is not equivalent to giving consent for continued sexual activity or a change in the type of sexual activity.

Consent can be withdrawn at any moment. A partner should clearly communicate that withdrawal of consent and the other  partner should respect it.

For example of positive and negative consent, check out RAINN What Consent Looks Like.