Monday, February 24, 2020

How A Self-Defense Program Made Me A Better Therapist: Part 2: Using My Body

"Your power is in your lower body, use it!” yelled my instructor as a man laid on top of me holding my wrists at my sides. His body weight pushed me into the mat, and I could barely move. I took a breath, then flipped him onto his back and kicked him repeatedly in the head. Women were screaming and clapping as he put his hands on his head, a sign of defeat.


At 34 years old, I completed IMPACT’s Core Program, and it was the first time I was given “permission” to physically defend myself. I was saddened by the realization that I needed permission. Why would I need someone’s permission to keep myself safe? With some self-reflection and a good therapist, I made a discovery. My parents never defended themselves; they both froze whenever they were physically or emotionally threatened. Moreover, teachers, daycare providers, and community members taught me that girls should ignore those who physically assault them. I can still hear their lessons: “Just ignore them,” “You’ll just make it worse,” and “Don’t give them a reason to hurt you worse.” Sadly, statistics indicate that the opposite is true. People who seek to harm others target those who appear as if they won’t fight back. Simply put, if an assailant thinks you’ll fight back, they are more likely to leave you alone and look for another target. You’re just not worth the trouble. Have I been unknowingly sending signals that I’m an easy target? Yes, I had been.

I gradually learned to give myself permission to use my body to protect myself and I began to physically assert myself in my life. I perfected my walk - fast paced, shoulders back, and not hesitant to look you in the eye. My walk communicates that I intend to fight back if threatened. I began walking around those who walk at a slower pace, instead of meekly walking behind them. I started pushing my chest out while sitting and I noticed how empowering it felt to take up space. A year later I completed an advanced IMPACT program called Defense Against an Armed Rapist, as I realized that feeling comfortable using my body to defend myself is something that may never come automatically, but is something that I need to practice continually.  

My experiences helped me integrate somatic interventions into my work as a trauma therapist. Like me, my clients experience obstacles that make it difficult for them to use their bodies to protect themselves. Some clients believe that their bodies are unsafe, others were punished as children for protecting themselves, and some have biological trauma responses (Flight, Fight, Freeze, and Faun) that are stuck in their bodies. After IMPACT, I began focusing more on my clients’ physical reactions. I began encouraging clients to use their bodies in order to process trauma, physically comfort their inner child(ren), and learn to keep calm under stressful or threatening circumstances. I noticed that some clients started to make more progress as they integrated their bodies in treatment. 

In addition to trauma work, I applied somatic interventions to help clients improve their self-worth. One of my favorite interventions is to encourage clients to take actions in order to learn how to talk up space in the world. These actions can include taking the last open seat on a busy train, requiring a person to yield when walking directly toward them on a sidewalk, sitting in a confident posture, and taking up physical space in an enclosed setting such as a meeting or class (instead of trying to take up as little space as possible.) When we physically take up space in the world, we can change our brain chemistry and advance our own self-worth.  

The phrase “life changing” is admittedly cliche, yet there is no other way for me to describe my experience with IMPACT Chicago’s Self-Defense Programs. These programs taught me how to use my voice and body to carve out my rightful place in the world. And now, I pass this knowledge on to my clients.


This post was first published HERE. Reprinted with permission from Amanda Gregory.You can find Amanda Gregory's "How a Self-Defense Program Made Me a Better Trauma Therapist, Part 1: Finding My Voice" on the IMPACT Chicago blog HERE.

Amanda Ann Gregory is a psychotherapist, author, and speaker. She practices in Chicago and specializes in trauma, attachment, and anxiety treatment. She has written for Highlights Magazine, Addiction Professional, Adoption Today, Holistic Parenting, New Therapist, and Psychology Tomorrow.


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