Five Seconds: Defending Myself Against an Armed Robber

I was visiting my mother in Michigan and we were meeting my sister for dinner at a local restaurant. As I dropped my mother off at the restaurant door I noticed three boys walking through the parking lot. As I went to park the car, I saw they had turned around and come back rather than just passing through. I had a hunch that they were trouble and thought they were looking for cars to break into. I parked under a light and walked toward the restaurant door, planning to tell the management about the boys. As I was walking, I heard a voice, “Give me all your money.” When I turned to face him, I saw the older one (no more than 13 or 14) pointing a gun at me. The other two were younger.
I knocked his gun arm so that it wasn’t pointing at me. He backed up and again pointed the gun at me. He had created enough distance that I did not move toward him. I dropped to the ground and yelled, “help”. My voice sounded weak and high and I thought “no one is going to respond to that”. I found my IMPACT voice and yelled “POLICE!” over and over again, very loud, very forceful, and they ran away. The entire incident lasted seconds. The police arrived quickly. They said they had seen the boys running away from the restaurant, but didn’t consider them suspects because they were so little. The entire attack felt like it lasted about 5 seconds. In reality it might have been a few more. It held that weird pliability of time that felt as though it was lasting forever and fleeting at the same time.
I took the IMPACT Core Program in 1990, and shortly after I took Defense Against an Armed Rapist. I was a class assistant for many years. I haven’t assisted or taken an IMPACT course in over 6 years. Even with that time gap, trusting myself and using my voice were immediate instinctive reactions. And while I responded instinctively, I also had fully formed thoughts flowing through my head constantly within the very short amount of time the attack lasted.
Thoughts about those moments:
1. When I saw the gun, their demand for all my money had no meaning for me because in the moment I had no memory of having a purse or any possessions. I wasn’t trying to keep my purse, I just didn’t realize I had it.
2. Nothing went as I would have planned or imagined. I’ve had moments when find myself with the “could have/should haves” but am trying not to get stuck there, but rather celebrate my instincts that ultimately lead to my safety.
3. My voice saved my life.
4. I had no bruise or physical consequence from dropping to the ground.
Thoughts about taking care of myself
1. I considered returning home but stuck with my original plan to stay 3 more days, which allowed me to stay in the area, return to the restaurant (where I had a reservation the next day with a friend), and see that I could carry on with my planned activities while I processed the attack.
2. I talked extensively with my husband by phone. He was available whenever I wanted to talk, listened to all I had to say and was tremendously supportive.
3. I also received lots of support from another IMPACT graduate who had been robbed by someone with a gun, as well as various family members from both my family and my husbands, and a handful of friends.
4. I realized quickly, however, that many people didn’t know how to give me support. Some people were cavalier; others focused on their own or someone else’s experience without connecting it to what had just happened to me. I took care of myself by acknowledging their love, but accepting that they didn’t know how to give it to me in this situation and not discussing it further with them if they asked about it again. Most did not ever ask about it again, so that made it easier, even while demonstrating their complete unwillingness to deal with such an uncomfortable topic. This information is valuable because should I have another traumatic experience I will know the short list of people to surround myself with.
5. The night of the attack I wrote about what happened; not so much what I was feeling because I wasn’t even sure what that was. I wrote the details, getting all of it out of my head and onto paper.
6. As the days went by I honored every single thing that came up for me and took respite when I needed it.
7. I have found that I am doing all the things I did before the attack, but in certain places or times I find myself wary in a way I was not before. Not negative, just different. But I have not avoided one thing
that I’ve wanted to do, changed the way I live or how I walk in the world because of the attack. I continue to process it as necessary.
Just seconds — I faced an armed robber, I trusted my instincts, and I used my voice.
I am so grateful to IMPACT for all it has given me. It has equipped me with the tools I need to live in this world. My self-confidence and sense of self-worth have grown beyond measure. It has proven itself time and time again in my ability to create and maintain boundaries, hold my head high, protect myself and in this latest instance protect my life. Perhaps I didn’t do textbook IMPACT work, but I did honest and instinctive IMPACT work. And that worked.
Tammy DeBoer, IMPACT Chicago graduate

Tweet, Post, Friend: The IMPACT story

In 2009, Arden Schuman convinced then IMPACT Chicago Director Martha Thompson of the importance of IMPACT Chicago having a presence on Facebook and Twitter. Not long after, Arden said, “Let’s do a blog.” Arden has brought her technical savvy and intelligent encouragement to the IMPACT Chicago social media process. She does not micro-manage the content, but keeps things on track by pointing out types of posts, blogs, and blasts that bring more viewers, friends, readers. Once something is ready for publication or posting, she makes sure it gets to the public.

Although Martha has stepped down as Director of IMPACT Chicago (after 25 years of volunteer service), she continues to coordinate the social media content as well as teach IMPACT.  She says: “Working on social media has given me another way to educate the public about violence and self-defense.” Leslie Eto has recently taken on editing the blogs and AC Racette has been a regular contributor through writing blogs and doing interviews with volunteers and graduates.

If you want to contribute a blog, posts to facebook, or a tweet, let Jennifer, Volunteer Coordinator, know. We look forward to hearing from you!

Yes to Life

Linda Tran, interviewed October 14, IMPACT Chicago’s 25^th Anniversary Celebration

How did you find IMPACT, what brought you here?

I used to work for JCFS. Margaret V. [IMPACT Instructor] had a raffle and that’s how I found out about IMPACT. A year ago, I moved to the city from the suburbs. I felt unsafe because there were so many crime reports circulating about girls getting phones snatched from them or being hit from behind and possessions taken from them. Just 2 months ago, I heard about an armed rapist who broke into a girl’s second-floor apartment in my neighborhood at 3 am and raped her, then got away.
That boosted my alertness level. I was anxious and paranoid walking down the street. I have to walk through these tunnels. I’d be very scared, looking over my shoulder. I’d get upset when my boyfriend couldn’t stay over to take care of me. I had to alter my behavior. I didn’t feel good inside. So, I looked at this course again and I wanted to sign up my sister, but she couldn’t do it with me. Leslie [Registration Director] from IMPACT reached out again and that’s what helped me sign up for the course, and a scholarship made it possible.
I took it over two full weekends, Saturday and Sunday, and the graduation was two weeks ago. Even after the first day of taking it, I felt empowered. My paranoia went all the way down. I knew what to do with my body. They teach you to trust your gut instinct. Because we trained so hard, even over-trained, all I had to do was be present in my body. Always be aware and stay in your body. I learned how to trust my body more and to trust that it can protect me when I need it to.
What’s powerful about IMPACT were the circles. I met ten other wonderful women and everyone was very supportive. In the very last circle, we do this thing where you could prepare something special to present. I didn’t have time to present anything but if I did, it would have been a poem because I used to write poetry. It would have been along the lines of “Everyone has come to be very special and have a place in my heart, and no matter what happens in life--knock on wood--if anything were to happen to any of us, always remember that we’re there and to hear our voices on the sidelines.” We’re not in it alone, we’re all together, no matter what, no matter where.
In our circles, when we get together at the end of any scenario or any fight, we would hold hands and say a big “Yes!” As Martha Thompson said, we have so many "No’s" in our lives, but you have to say “Yes” to so many other things. You have to say “Yes” to life.
Compared to class, today [the 25^th Anniversary Celebration] was 4-5 times as much and that last circle that we just did felt very powerful with that big old "Yes". It leaves this feeling that I can do anything. I can go out there and not be afraid. We’re all worth fighting for, each of us, and we’re fighting for each other...we’re not alone.


Linda was interviewed by AC Racette

Challenge Myths about Rape

A recent article in the Journal of Community Health Nursing reports on a study conducted at Northeastern University, where students were surveyed on knowledge, social norms regarding sexual behavior, and rape myth acceptance. The role of rape myth acceptance in the social norms regarding sexual behavior among college students postulates that students with lower [sexual health] knowledge and higher acceptance of social norms that accept risky behavior are more likely to hold rape-myth attitudes. Males were shown to have a higher rape myth acceptance, and researchers believe that this acceptance can be credited to sexual double standards and a rape-supporting culture.

This study encourages preventionists to think about the kind of education we offer on college campuses. While combating rape myths is clearly necessary, we have to start our work a little further upstream to tackle issues around healthy sexuality, sexual health, and social norms. These pieces of education will support our overall goal of reducing rape myth acceptance, moving towards a primary prevention model, and eliminating sexual violence on college campuses.

Alexis Marbach on August 17, 2012*

_______________________________________________

* Originally posted by California Coalition Against Sexual Assault (calcasa.org)

Campus Prevention

I Relieved My Memory

That girl that walked
In that door the other day,
She still looks as she was,
But she'll never be the same.

The recurring daymares,
Paranoia and hypervigilance
Had taken over with
Its tortuous insolence.

For far too long now,
Fear has commandeered my life.
So I'm calling this “foul,”
And relinquishing this plight.

Chasing my tail,
I've been foraging by day,
Searching for something
From which not to run away.

That girl that came in?
She had no boundaries.
No room to cave in, but
From somewhere, I found me!

Confident and cocky,
I would laugh in your face.
Did you still want to take me?
Please, come get a taste.

Your faces are burned in my memory.
I try, but we know I could never forget.
No chance, no potential remedy
To ease the pain from it.

With each stride on that mat,
Undoubtedly, I'm stronger.
I feel my progress as my body grows sore,
But blankly, I can fight even longer

Than my brain tells me I can,
My muscles keep on moving.
Aware of the capability of man,
They seek safety in dueling.

Three times, we've departed,
More empowered every day.

The vulnerability with which I started
Has brought me such a long way.

Alliance I've found in some of you,
Inspiration from some others.
Profound encouragement too,
And comfort in another.

These things wouldn't be possible
Without the support of my team.
This confidence, not so plausible
If I've had no one to lean

On, no steady medium down.
I'll never have to fight alone,
So powerful, I'll still hear the sound,
And beside each other we've grown,

Learned our capabilities,
A surprise, I'm sure, to us all.
Our strength and body agilities,
We were all so sure we'd fall.

We'll all walk out of here
Stronger women, without a doubt.
Even with our smoke and mirrors,
Looking crazy as hell on the ground!

We've learned how powerful we are,
I know we are more so than we think.
That seems to be the trend thus far,
The deeper we make it, the further we can sink.

I got through this with your support,
Although I came here alone.
The comradery, just the right sort,
All on the same streets we roam.

All strangers, just last week,
We derived strength from each other.
At some point here, we've all felt weak,
And each offered support to another.

Hopping up and down,
Jumping face to face,
Laughing while we hop around,
Glad we're all in this place.

Nothing more to ask for,

Never dreamed it could be this fun.
Hands down for the line's support,
No better way this could be done!

We made something that I've feared so much
Go by just like entertainment.
I never thought I'd see again
Such power in containment.

~Felicia Kamradt

Martha Thompson Receives Peacemaker Award

Nancy Lanoue, Co-Executive Director,*

Thousand Waves Martial Arts & Self-Defense Center

Martha and Nancy

One of the riskiest decisions I ever made was in 1991, when I offered to coordinate the annual conference of the National Women’s Martial Arts Federation here in Chicago at Loyola University. I had had no experience to prepare me for such a task and was a relative newcomer to the organization, but I was driven to the challenge.

Fortunately, the conference didn’t fail and even earned enough money for us to buy our first computer for Thousand Waves. But the most valuable thing I got from it was not the boost to my reputation or a financial windfall. It was an amazing new member, Martha Thompson, who had heard that the conference was offering a self-defense track and decided to check it out. She shortly, thereafter, made the leap into studying martial arts.

At this time, Martha had already been teaching self-defense for several years. She was slowly and steadily building the capacity of the organization, IMPACT Chicago, and extending its reach across Chicago as a provider of feminist, empowerment-oriented self-defense. As many of you know, what IMPACT offers that we at Thousand Waves do not, is the opportunity to work with armored male co-instructors to practice full contact strikes in an adrenalized condition.

Martha has been an inspiring teacher of IMPACT Chicago self-defense for 25 years and, in this capacity, has touched the lives of literally thousands of students, giving them the tools they need to be safe and to heal from whatever violence they have experienced.

Over the years, I have been fortunate to work collaboratively with Martha on many projects. She, Marie O’Brien and I decided to try to articulate our shared vision of what a Feminist Empowerment Model of Self-Defense looks like. Once we captured it on paper, we took it to our colleagues in the NWMAF and got them to adopt it as the standard pedagogic model for their certification program.

Martha’s leadership, in this and countless other projects that she has volunteered for, is a demonstration, in and of itself, of the feminist empowerment model we sought to articulate.  It comes naturally to her to make a place for everyone, respect diverse points of view, draw on the expertise participants bring to the table, bring out the best in everyone, inspire respectful debate and work towards consensus.

One of the reasons Martha is able to so skillfully apply the feminist empowerment model in her self-defense teaching, and to help other teachers like me do it as well, is that this topic has been a major focus of her academic scholarship, as well as her self-defense teaching. Since her retirement from Northeastern Illinois University’s Sociology and Women’s Studies Departments, she has begun a new type of teaching at the University of Illinois at Chicago where she works on preparing future faculty by teaching them her pedagogic methods

I could go on much longer singing the praises of my friend, my martial arts student and my self-defense colleague, but with no further delay, I would like to award the Thousand Waves Peacemaker Award to Martha Thompson.

We honor you, Martha, for your contributions to the development of a Feminist Empowerment Model of teaching and for many years of creative, principled leadership in local, national, and international Women’s Self-Defense work.

Through your academic scholarship and 25 years of inspired teaching with IMPACT Chicago, you have set thousands of positive waves in motion. Thank you for inspiring us to follow in your footsteps.

*Remarks made on the occasion of Dr. Martha Thompson’s Peacemaker Award, February 9, 2013

Celebrate Women’s History Month: Learn Self-Defense!

The 2013 theme for Women’s History Month is "Women Inspiring Innovation Through Imagination: Celebrating Women in Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics." The math is straightforward: nearly 1 in 5 women in the US has been raped sometime in their lives (Center for Disease Control 2012). The scientific evidence is clear: women’s participation in self-defense training decreases their likelihood of being sexually assaulted in the future (Violence Against Women Network 2011).  

IMPACT Chicago is offering two programs for women and girls in March in celebration of Women’s History Month. 
For women 16 and up: 
IMPACT Core Program, March 8, 9 & 10 (Fri: 5:30-9:30; Sat/Sun: 9-6) 
Belle Plaine Studio (2014 W. Belle Plaine, Chicago, IL 60618). 

For girls 12-15: 
IMPACT for Middle School Girls, March 16 and 17 (Sat/Sun 11am – 3pm) 
Knapp Center, 3145 W. Pratt Blvd., Chicago, IL  60645.

Celebrate women’s history month by encouraging a woman or girl you love, including yourself, to take a self-defense course. Imagine: a world where every woman and girl knows how to defend herself!