I Found My Voice and Stood Up For Myself

Interview with Leslie Eto, IMPACT Chicago Registration and Workshop Director

AC Racette, IMPACT Chicago Assistant Director interviewed Leslie. She says: Catching Leslie
Eto is no easy feat. She works nighttimes in the River North area in futures trading and comes
home mid-morning. Her bedtime is when most of us are starting to wrap up our workday. She
flips her schedule to be with friends, family, and IMPACT on weekends. She had studied Aikido,
seriously, before taking her first IMPACT Core Program in 1990.

AC: What makes you still believe in IMPACT’s methodology?

It really helped me at work. At the time, I had been on the trading floor 12 years. In the
beginning, I once went home crying because it was a very abusive environment. I couldn’t take
it. I’d hide and do my work and leave. But after I did the IMPACT training, it was different. I
remember this broker screaming at me and I was really angry inside. It turned out that one of
his guys had made an error and he was trying to pin the blame on me. Later, I saw him walking
around the pit and he looked at me, saw that I was staring at him and he looked away really
fast. I yelled “Apology accepted!” Everyone looked up. At the end of the trading session he did
apologize. I was amazed. This was after taking IMPACT. I was able to find my voice and really
stand up for myself.

A woman from my Aikido class, who took IMPACT, was later involved in a carjacking and
her first instinct was what you learn in IMPACT... not from years and years of martial arts
training. There’s a real difference. With IMPACT, the use of muscle memory is so good and the
techniques are simple and direct.

On the website, we say any woman can do this, as long as you can walk up a flight of stairs
with a bag of groceries. The techniques are easy to remember; once you do them, they stay with
you. In the workshops I lead, I like seeing people learn one or two techniques, learn how to
yell and learn about proper distance. Students challenge their own ideas of what self-defense
is. We’re talking about real life situations and the things you can do with your own body—no
weapon.

I’ve seen women with chronic conditions, like arthritis, take the class and succeed. They might
be less inclined to go full speed but they learn the techniques and deliver a knockout blow. The
instructors aren’t going to let anyone finish without doing that. A woman in her 60s called, who
had a condition where her joints were loose and she couldn’t lock her knees, ankles, wrists. I
referred her to Martha and Margaret because this was pretty serious. They told her if she was
uncomfortable with anything, she could sit to the side and observe. The instructors would be
cautious and tell her what she could realistically do and not do. She had to back off with the
palm-heel, but everything else she could do, especially the ground techniques.

I’ve had people in my own workshops with deep-seated doubts who were very resistant. They
doubted the techniques but, in the end, they came through and embraced both IMPACT’s
techniques and basic premise that women are fully capable of defending themselves. It’s
the support that they get. Some people just doubt that anyone will care about or value a
woman's understandable fears about sexual assault. In IMPACT classes, the staff creates a safe
environment where students can support one another.

That’s the main thing I loved about my class. Martha and the other  instructors were so supportive; I’ve
never seen anything like it.

If you know someone who needs IMPACT in their lives, if you’ve been meaning to take the class
and haven’t gotten around to it, do it now! Our next Core Program is offered at Belle Plaine
Studio, September 22, 23, 29, & 30. Check out our website at http://www.impactchicago.org/

More Than a Self-Defense Course

Danuta K July 2012

I am so grateful for taking the [IMPACT Chicago Core Program]. This was one of the best choices I have ever made. It surpassed all of my expectations. The staff was so very well trained in the technique and at the same time so very insightful, caring, and supportive, encouraging and committed to what they do and making the world a better place one group of women at a time. Being with [the lead instructor] and the other women in a group felt like being part of a huge supportive family. I saw the big commitment that the suited instructors were making – thank you. I attend a domestic violence support group for women and I will recommend it to every woman in that group.

This was an exceptional experience to stand up for myself, say NO!, use everything that I have to fight for myself and for what I believe in. It gave me self-confidence, more insight into who I am, showed me how to set boundaries, connected me spiritually with all the other women in the group and gave me courage, a sense of belonging and empowerment.

I feel so grateful to all of you - Thank you. This was much more than a self-defense course for me. It was getting back in touch with who I really am and a step forward in my life. I will never forget it.

Back in the day

Back in the Day: Reflections on the first IMPACT/Model Mugging Class

Dianne (Dee) Costanzo

The world cracked open for me in August 1987 in a way that would leave me forever changed; I was one of the fourteen women who took a self-defense class called Model Mugging. No, we did not mug models. We changed the world just a bit. While I cannot speak for the other women, I do believe most would agree that those five evenings on the mat shifted our way of being in the world.

It certainly changed the direction of my life, so much so that I knew I needed to be a part of what would become IMPACT, so much so that I became the first certified female instructor in Chicago and probably east of the Rocky Mountains, so much so that I had the honor of walking with countless numbers of strong women who signed up for classes, workshops, or informational talks for the first twenty-two years of IMPACT’s existence in the Chicago land area.

For those who have taken the class, I do not need to discuss its transformative power, but I can share what the class meant to me. It shook me to the core and when the shaking stopped enough, I saw myself differently. It helped me integrate body, mind, and spirit and called me very clearly to help others come to their own truth, their own life in their own way. As an instructor, I always believed that every woman speaks the truth of her life and has the right to speak it clearly, strongly, and with a non-negotiable sense of dignity. I should like to think that I helped provide the space for women to do their inner and outer work.

Over the years, I was known for coming up with phrases that might put things in perspective: “Love those hips!” “Strong women can fight and cry at the same time!” “Different mugger, different day!” “You can put a new ending to an old story.” And my favorite, “GET UP!” At a visceral level, I knew the fear and doubt many women felt during a difficult scenario, and I always felt blessed to be a witness to a woman so willing to step into the unknown and come out the other side.

 Many times after a class, I would go home and cry—not because a woman couldn’t learn how to protect herself, quite the opposite. I would cry because a woman found the strength, however tentative, to say “no.” And that little “no” became a big “No,” and that big “No” joined the “No” of all the other women in class, and at graduation, when graduates of previous classes came to support the women graduating that day, the “No” would represent circles within circles of all the women who stood up one at a time to make a community of warrior women who simply want to walk in the world on their own terms.

I have always believed that we have the responsibility to make the world better than we found it, and it has been my honor and privilege to “lay down the mats” and have women come to their own truth. Twenty-five years in some way is a long time to support such an effort, but in truth we are just beginning.

From the IMPACT Archives: How IMPACT got its name

Excerpts from Mark Morris’ “Making IMPACT” in A History of Model Mugging[1]

Backstory from Mark’s history, 1990

In July 1990, Carol Middleton organized a meeting with chapter heads from Boston, LA, DC, Chicago, and the Bay Area to meet with Matt Thomas to come up with a plan to pay him for the rights to use the name Model Mugging, even though he had not taken any steps to protect the trademark. Negotiations broke down and some chapters decided to explore a national organization with a new name; [1] this group is who Mark called the Organization Faction, chapter leaders who wanted to form a national organization. Mark identified two other factions: the Owners (some of the founders who developed Model Mugging into a full-fledged program—Matt Thomas, Julio Toribo, Danielle Evans) and the Community Faction (people who did not want to go either way, but wanted to maintain relationships).

The Chicago Meeting

On March 12 and 13, 1991, the Organization Faction met in Chicago. This meeting was attended by Melissa Soalt, Model Mugging (MM) of Boston; Al Potash and Lisa Gaeta, IMPACT Personal Safety in Los Angeles; Carol Middleton; DC Model Mugging;  Sheryl Doran. Bay Area Model Mugging (BAMM); Martha Thompson and Joe Connelly, Self-Empowerment Group of Chicago (SEG). I was there too -- however I no longer represented a Chapter. Bill Kratoska (MM of Minneapolis) was very supportive of our efforts, but he was unable to attend. We were joined by Laine [Jastram] and her husband, Jeff Evans, representing MM of New York, and Rick Gibbons from MM of Kansas City….

We approved an idealistic Mission Statement that focused on the public good. I pointed out that we were also working together for our own benefit. Failure to keep this agenda out in the open would lead us directly to the same sort of self-serving self-righteousness we all resented so much in Matt [Thomas]. After this good start, we quickly got bogged down in a debate over a name for the proposed association. There was a deeper question underneath this surface issue. Were we trying to create a strong association built around a new trademark or a weak association with a generic name? Most of us agreed that IMPACT was the best sounding of the suggested names. However, concerns were expressed about giving undue influence to the LA Chapter. [According to Mark’s chapter The Dust Settles, in 1989, Irene van der Zande , Al Potash, and Lisa Gaeta decided to establish a new organization. They all wanted a new name for the organization that did not involve the name Model Mugging. In 1989, Al came up with the name IMPACT, the IMPACT Foundation was incorporated, and Model Mugging of Los Angeles began a transition to the IMPACT name.] Al said he was willing to yield the IMPACT name to the national organization.

Sheryl Tips the Scales

In May, Sheryl [Doran] opted to support "IMPACT" as the trademark for the national organization. [Sheryl’s support was critical because she was “the mother” of Model Mugging. She created and defined the female instructor role. She was technically skilled, professional, empathetic, and a skilled facilitator. Sheryl’s combination of networking, word of mouth, and ability to connect with people brought women into the courses. Her business and marketing skills were key to the success of Model Mugging]. At our next meeting, a phone conference on May 16, 1991, we settled on Impact International Inc. (III)…. A majority (the Chapters in LA, the Bay Area, Chicago, and D.C.) now supported a strong association and the III name….

May to October 1991

From June until the December 1991 National Retreat, we held III meetings on a monthly basis through phone conferences….Martha Thompson played an important role (beginning with the March conference) by facilitating our meetings. Through her leadership, we were able to move forward, if only at a crawling pace, through even the thorniest issues…

AT THE DECEMBER 1991 RETREAT

Impact Personal Safety organized a National Model Mugging Staff Retreat for December…By the time of the Retreat, III consisted of an association between the [former] Model Mugging Chapters in the Bay Area, LA, Chicago and DC….Carol Middleton from D.C. was the first President of IMPACT International, Inc.

---

[1] Martha Thompson selected the excerpts and has inserted some explanatory notes. To read the full history as written by Mark, contact Martha (Martha@impactchicago.org) for an electronic copy.

Cornered, I Fought Back

Anonymous

From the IMPACT Archives

Between classes 3 and 4 (a once/week course), I was attacked by three youths and one of them pulled a knife on me. I knocked them all out.

The attack occurred in an isolated parking area behind a building. I was taking the back way in to visit my aunt. I had driven in, parked, and then gotten out of my car when they confronted me. If I had been alone, maybe I could have just gotten back into my car and driven off. Unfortunately, my toddler was also out, and I had an infant in my arms, still in his car carrier. My dog was still in the car.

You have to drive into this courtyard and turn around to park. This puts the passenger side of the car next to the building. The building entrance is then right in front of the car, up a few steps, and beyond that there is a dumpster in an angle of the wall. The area near the entrance and the dumpster is completely hidden from the street.

The boys were probably smoking pot or crack or something back between the dumpster and the building. They were big boys, about 18 years old, six feet tall plus or minus an inch or two and slender. After I parked and got out with the kids, they came out and confronted me.

The first one said something like, “Hey bitch, suck my cock.” “Okay, I’ll do anything you want, just don’t hurt the baby.” I shooed the toddler toward the back of the courtyard and got on my knees. This gave me a chance to tuck the baby, still in his carrier, under the front corner of the car.

Number one, meanwhile, unzipped and got his genitals out of his pants. Two and three were still behind him. When he got close, I dropped onto my side and kicked him twice in the groin. I could feel tissue shattering, maybe tearing on his zipper. He fell at the front left corner of the car, unconscious from the shock.

Number two knew that I had done something to number one but he couldn’t really see what. He came around and shouted at me, “What the fuck did you do to my friend? I’m going to throw your baby in the dumpster.” I had started to get up, but as number two reach down for the baby, I dropped onto my side again and kicked him in the ear. Now his head was trapped on the corner of the car at the bumper. I kicked him three or four times. Now he was out.

This jostled my car and set off the alarm. My dog was already barking and this set him into a frenzy. Somehow, he managed to squeeze out of a partially open window. Then he set about barking at and harassing the third attacker.  Number three had pulled out a switch blade, but instead of going after me he bent over, trying to slash at my dog. I saw my chance and took it. I got up and charged him and kneed him in the head. His head rebounded into a metal rail at the entrance. So he was out, too.

I collected the baby, the toddler, and the dog and got them all back into the car. A few blocks away I stopped to call the police, saying that there had been a fight, and they should send an ambulance. I didn’t identify myself.

It took me a while to process this incident. I had mixed feelings about the damage I had done to these boys. Two were certainly seriously injured and the third may have been as well. Finally, I accepted that I had only done what was truly necessary in the situation to protect my kids, my dog, and myself.

AC Racette - IMPACT Chicago Assistant Director

AC graduated from the IMPACT Core Program in 1995 and joined the Publicity Committee in January 2012. You have probably already read the blogs she has contributed and seen the flyers she has produced. Her energy, enthusiasm, and productivity have been inspiring!

The position of Assistant Director is a volunteer position, but an important one as we make a transition to new executive leadership. AC's focus during this transition period (June-December 2012) will be on marketing, communications, and publicity. This capitalizes on her achievements with the publicity committee to date and on her professional goals. 

Here’s what AC has to say about what she brings to this new position in IMPACT:

IMPACT is an organization that changed my life at a time when I yearned to live more broadly, to travel, and to find men allies.

Since my Core Program in 1995, I have been involved in nonprofits, first as Volunteers Coordinator at the Old Town School of Folk Music, then as a graphic designer and editor at the Great Books Foundation, and now as a project manager at Northwestern University. Over the years, I have seeded an interest in nonprofits development as a means to broaden our audience, imagining new products using social media and IS technology tostay relevant to a changing society. I have rekindled my inclination for performance and presentation, first explored as a dance student.

In addition to studying ballet, I draw, I sew and knit, I paint watercolors of women in watery or icy environments, I have fixed up 70s-model cars, and I have performed with all-women percussion groups.

Julie Curtis, Director-in-Training, IMPACT Chicago

Julie is honored and excited to be in training as the new Executive Director for IMPACT Chicago.  She is busy learning everything she can from Martha Thompson, the current Director.  They have mutually declared that her title is “Director-in-Training” until December when Martha will redefine her role with IMPACT Chicago.  She and Martha agree: Martha won’t be going away, but will continue on with our organization working for social justice!

In the late 90’s, Julie’s interest in self defense and understanding the issues around making it available to every woman, not just martial artists, led her to move to Washington, DC to complete an IMPACT BASICS class. Since then, she has been involved as a volunteer, class assistant, operations staff, and more recently as a Female Instructor-in-Training with DC IMPACT.  She looks to complete her certification with IMPACT Chicago.

In 2009, she went with Carol Middleton, Director of DC IMPACT, to Nairobi, Kenya to assist her with teaching other self-defense instructors.  The primary purpose was to teach them to teach weapons defense including defense against knives, guns, clubs, and panga (machete), but what she took most from that experience was a literal “Ah-hah!” moment as one of the instructors realized the value and applicability of verbal de-escalation skills. This moved Julie to explore the nuances and translation of verbal strategies for de-escalation and how they can be effective across cultures.

Julie is a second degree black belt in Shorin Ryu Karate and Kobudo and has studied other martial arts systems including Tae Kwon Do and Seido karate. She continues training for her weapons certification and 3^rd degree with Doug Yates Karate in Xenia, Ohio and she recently re-joined Thousand Waves in Chicago for the camaraderie and daily conditioning.  She is a member of the National Women’s Martial Arts Federation (NWMAF) and this summer will be attending her 2nd Self Defense Instructors Conference and Special Training.

She is also the sole proprietor of her own consulting practice, Process and Quality Solutions, helping small businesses define their quality management systems and achieve industry benchmarks. She is a Certified Scrum Master (CSM) for agile software development projects and has 20+ years working in information technology.

Julie wants to express her gratitude for the experience and training so many extraordinary members of the self-defense community have shared with her already.  These women and men, and members of their organizations have been invaluable to her growth as a self defense instructor: Carol Middleton, Kevin Hipps, Tim Salisbury, and the team of instructors and assistants she has trained with at DC IMPACT; Doug Yates, Scott Vance, and Tim Wilson of Doug Yates Karate; Lauren Taylor, Defend Yourself; Cathie Reid; Lee Sinclair and the instructors of I’m Worth Defending; Irene van der Zande, Kidpower; Nancy Lanoue, Sarrah Ludden, Marie O’Brien, Kate Webster, and Michelle Curley of Thousand Waves; and the members of the NWMAF.  She’d also like to thank her former housemates, Dana, Bronwyn and Becca for inviting her to teach that first Antioch College’s women’s self defense workshop that ignited her interest in making self defense accessible to everyone and someday, hopefully, unnecessary.