Should I Yell Fire? A Self-Defense Question

IMPACT Chicago defender setting a boundary

“Should I yell ‘fire’ instead of ‘help’?” I hadn't heard anyone ask that question in years and then in the space of a few weeks, it came up in two self-defense workshops. 

This is a question that has been answered before by Empowerment Self-Defense instructor Lauren Taylor in “Should I Yell Fire,” but because it is still out there as a possible self-defense response to sexual assault, I'm going to address it, too.

Are there circumstances under which yelling “fire” might be an effective self-defense strategy?

Empowerment self-defense training is not memorizing a list of “shoulds;” instead, it involves learning a range of tools and practicing using those tools while assessing situations, the context, and the people involved. In other words, there’s no formula of “if this happens, then do this….” 

So with empowerment self-defense, the question becomes not “should I yell ‘fire’?” but “are there circumstances under which yelling ‘fire’ might be an effective self-defense strategy?” 

It is not common or typical, but there may indeed be circumstances under which yelling “fire” might be an effective self-defense strategy. It would depend upon an individual assessing what's happening, what they want to happen, making a decision about whether yelling is the best strategy in their circumstances, and, if so, what words or phrases will get the response they want. 

It’s important to note that, no matter which tools you choose to use or not use, no matter what, you are not responsible for another person’s behavior: if they violate your boundaries, they are responsible. 

Why yelling “fire” is not typically a tool offered in an Empowerment Self-Defense program

Voice is one of the most versatile tools presented in empowerment self-defense programs. An important facet of that tool is specific messaging: communicating to the person attacking you, others, and/or yourself your assessment of what is happening and/or what you want. 

Yelling “fire” if you are experiencing sexual violence does not communicate to the person attacking you, others, and/or yourself your assessment of what is happening and/or what you want. However, there are words or phrases you can use that say what you want, don't want, or name the violence, such as:

No!

Leave me alone!

That is harassment! Stop!

What you are doing is assault! Don't touch me again!

Another facet of voice is volume. People are most likely to sexually assault someone they know, and their aggression often begins with minor boundary violations and then increases. Likewise, your response to these violations may begin quietly, then grow louder. So I recommend a message that is not only specific, but will work at any level of violation and at any volume. Saying “fire” softly is unlikely to convey the message that a behavior is unacceptable, whereas statements like “No;” “leave me alone;” “that is harassment, stop;” or “what you are doing is assault, don't touch me again,” whether said soft or loud, send a clear message.

Martha Thompson

IMPACT Chicago

Lead Instructor and Admin Team Co-Leader

Thank you to Amy Harmon for her editing of an earlier version of this post.

So I Better Behave Then

“So what do you do?”

“I teach self-defense.”

More often than not, upon hearing our answer to a seemingly innocuous question about

our career path, people respond by making fists and mimicking boxing motions, which

are sometimes accompanied by an uncomfortable laugh.

Every profession sparks its fair share of comments, questions, and stereotypes.

In the case of self-defense, especially for women, the picture most people have in their

heads is of a male martial artist or police officer training a much smaller woman.

That may be true in some cases, but that’s not what empowerment self-defense looks

like. And the misconception can lead to some pretty interesting (and sometimes

maddening) conversations.

We recently polled a group of ESD practitioners and asked them about the most

common responses to finding out what we do.

Here are the top 10 responses:

10. Oh. So what martial art do you teach?

Our response:

“Traditional martial arts were designed by men, for men’s bodies, for the way

men fight. ESD was designed by women, for women and is based on the

strengths of women's bodies against the weaknesses of the male body.

In empowerment self-defense classes, women learn verbal and mental

techniques along with the physical.”

Some of us do teach at least one martial art. But we take the difference between

the two forms of self-defense very seriously.

9. Why don’t you just buy pepper spray? Or download an app? Or carry a big

bag you can hit people with?

Our response:

ESD Global’s president and founder, Yehudit Zicklin Sidikman, came up with what

she refers to as the “shower test:”

“If I don’t take it with me into the shower, it can’t be my primary prevention protocol.”

She also likes to tell people that:

“Unless a ninja pops out of my phone and fights a battle for me right there and then,

I have to put my trust in myself.”

ESD training empowers women to put their trust into their own bodies and not rely

on phones that can go down to once percent battery power or gadgets they might

not always have with them.

8. Women shouldn’t have to take self-defense. It’s victim blaming.

Our response:

“We shouldn’t have to. But we believe in taking responsibility for our own safety.

We take swimming lessons so we can be safe in and around water. We wear

seatbelts to protect ourselves from other drivers.”

We believe strongly that a victim is never responsible for the choices of the person

who initiated violence.

However, we also believe that ESD training provides us with tools for stopping

violence in its tracks.

7. Really? What does your husband think about that?

Our response:

Silence.

There’s really no way to dignify that with a response. We shut that conversation

down immediately.

6. But you’re so small / nice / feminine.

Our response:

“Everyone is capable of defending themselves. Everyone has a right to defend themselves.”

And then, under our breath, we might mumble:

“Go ahead. Underestimate me. That’ll be fun,”

Personality, size, etc. has nothing to do with our ability to defend ourselves.

It’s also important to note that ESD techniques can be easily adapted to meet

people’s individual needs.

5. I know all about that. That kind of training doesn’t work because. . .

Our response:

“Actually, empowerment self-defense is the most researched and most proven

violence prevention intervention that exists.”

It’s true. And every day, we see how ESD benefits the women we teach.

4. I can show you what really works.

Our response:

“No thanks. I’m fine.”

Why waste our breath telling them about our years of education, training,

and experience?

3. I could never do any of that.

Our response:

“Yes, you COULD!!!”

We believe that we all have an inner lioness within us who is ready and

able to help us defend ourselves.

As empowerment self-defense instructors, our job is to help women discover

and connect with the strength and power that’s already within them.

2. I wouldn’t want to meet you in a dark alley.

Our response:

Sensei Wendi Dragonfire has figured this one out.

She responds with:

“You would be lucky to meet up with me in a dark alley as I would

be helping you.”

1. So you could kick my ass? I’d better behave, then!

Our response:

“You should behave anyway.”

Enough said.

* What comments and questions have you had to deal with as an

empowerment self-defense practitioner?

ESD Global Staff

"So I Better Behave Then and Other Responses to Our Career Choice." Originally posted February 7, 2019 on ESD Global. Reprinted here with permission. Check out the original for additional photos and video.

Empowerment Self-Defense, 2017-2018

Inspired by participation in the August 2017 ESD Global Incubator, IMPACT Chicago Instructor and Social Media Coordinator Martha Thompson made a commitment to publishing a blog about empowerment self-defense at least once/month and to seeking the contributions of empowerment self-defense instructors from varied organizations. Below is a list of those blogs and links to them.

 Challenging Rape Culture with Empowerment Self-Defense
August 2017 Clara Porter, Prevention Action Change Portland ME

Principles of Empowerment Self-Defense
September 2017   Julie Harmon, IMPACT Safety Columbus OH

What Do Empowerment Self-Defense Students Learn
October 2017 Mona MacDonald, Lioness Martial Arts, Pittsburgh PA

"Rape Culture" and Empowerment Self-Defense
November 2017  Amy Jones, Thousand Waves Martial Arts & Self-Defense Center, Chicago IL

 IMPACT Chicago View of Empowerment Self-Defense
December 2017 Martha Thompson, IMPACT Chicago, Chicago IL

Self-Defense is Not About Eliminating Risk
January 2018 Amy Jones, Thousand Waves Martial Arts & Self-Defense Center, Chicago IL

Empowering ≠ Empowerment Self-Defense  
February 2018 Martha Thompson, IMPACT Chicago, Chicago IL

What is Empowerment Self-Defense
March 2018 Compilation of definitions from: Empowerment Changes, Jay O'Shea, Sun Dragon Martial Arts, Susan Shorn, Lynne Marie Wanamaker

How Can Empowerment Self-Defense Lift the Personal Burdens People Carry?
April 2018 Carol Schaeffer, IMPACT, New York

Is Empowerment Self-Defense Only for Women?
April 2018 Lauren Taylor, Defend Yourself, Washington DC

Reducing Violence Against Boys and Men Improves Community Safety
May 2018 Ernest Wawiorko, IMPACT, New York

Tap Code: When Sexual Assault Survivors Are Not Alone
June 2018 Lynne Marie Wanamaker, Safe Passage, Northampton MA

Is Any Self-Defense Training Better Than None?
June 2018 Clara Porter, Prevention Action Change Portland ME

Challenging Toxic Trauma within the Field of Trauma Treatment
July 2018 Diane Long, Kaleidoscope Healing Arts, Minneapolis MN

Beyond Protection: Perceived Threat, Criminalization, and Self-Defense
August 2018 Jay O'Shea, UCLA, Los Angeles

Beyond Protection: Perceived Threat, Criminalization, and Self-Defense

Jay O'Shea
photo credit: Calvin Alagot

It seemed innocent enough. My daughter and I were stopping by the credit union on our way home from the pool. It was after closing but a few employees remained in the parking lot. 

As I approached the cash machine, another person walked up from the opposite side, a few paces before us. A slim, white woman whose expensive casual wear and designer sunglasses marked her as one of our Westside neighborhood’s more affluent residents, she turned and looked at me instead of giving her attention to the ATM. I offered a smile, acknowledging that she had reached the cash machine first and had dibs on it. When she returned my smile with a scowl, I expected the snappish disdain that well-off women in West LA so commonly project toward other women, but not the question she asked.

“Can you come back?” she said.

“Excuse me?” I asked, assuming she meant “Can you step back?” That seemed peculiar since I stood a good six feet away from her but I would have been willing to accommodate the request.

“I need to make a deposit,” she said.

“Go ahead,” I said. “You were here first.”

“I said I need to make a deposit. So you need to go and come back later.”

“What?” Incredulous, I struggled for words. Finally, it kicked in and I understood what she was asking, or rather demanding, of me.

“No,” I added.

“You know what?” she said. “Forget about it. OK, just forget it. I guess I’ll have to wait.”

She stormed past.

Grateful for my IMPACT (and other empowerment self-defense training), I turned to my eight-year-old daughter and said loudly, “OK, so this woman is looking for a confrontation and wants it to be someone else’s fault. She may be dangerous and we need to be prepared.” I knew that wasn’t it, not exactly, but I wanted to deflect her implied accusation and make sure any bystanders knew she was the threat, not I.

Huffing, crossing and uncrossing her arms, and making a show of endorsing her check at distance of twenty yards from me, she pulled out her phone and stood watching as I deposited my own check.

Perhaps my tank top and skate shorts marked me, in her eyes, as poor. Maybe my baseball cap and visible deltoids read as masculine. Or my dark hair, short, muscular stature, and my daughter’s brown skin rendered us ethnically ambiguous in a city whose largest “minority” is multi-racial. Whatever it was, it suggested to her that I was a self-evident threat. In a weird leap of logic, my position as threatening and socially inferior meant that it was my obligation to defer my errand in order to protect her safety. Anything less than complete capitulation confirmed my status as dangerous.

I had recently attended a women’s self-defense conference where speakers pointed out that white women’s ostensible right to protection exposes others, usually men of color, to violence. People of various backgrounds and socioeconomic statuses (people of color, working class people, the poor) have historically been seen as a self-evident threat to elite white women. In the interest of protecting these women, white men inflict violence on marginalized people, who are rendered vulnerable precisely because they are seen as dangerous. Fear and entitlement come together to create violence.

Middle- and upper-class white women play into this system when they come to expect protection, and come to associate people who seem different with threat. Someone who lives at the intersection of different identities from my own (in terms of race, immigration status, or gender expression) could have faced far graver consequences than the social aggression I encountered at the ATM. The criminalization of the poor, people of color, and those whose appearance or behavior seems non-normative ultimately serves the needs not of women, white or otherwise, but of a racist patriarchal system. Criminalization endangers the lives and the safety of ordinary people and deprives the innocent of their freedom. Criminalization is as much a threat to justice and equality as other forms of violence.  

This woman’s actions can’t be, of course, considered effective self-defense. She missed clues that might have signaled my true intentions: do muggers often bring their children with them to an attack? Do they usually have their wallets out and checks in hand? She was responding to a narrative she created – that the person behind her in line showed up just to attack her – rather than the actual circumstances: that more than one person had a check to deposit at an ATM in a major city just after the close of business hours. Worse, in her suspicion, she provoked a confrontation where none needed to happen.

Even so, the flip side of acknowledging that we are responsible for our own safety is realizing that we are responsible for how we interact with others. Just as women need to let go of a desire to displace responsibility onto someone else, we also are accountable to how we demand safety. We are accountable to the social violence that continues in the associations of criminality with difference. We do not have the right to criminalize the ordinary actions of those who appear different from us in the interest of safety.

As self-defense practitioners and advocates we need to make explicit the difference between safety and protection, between boundary setting and criminalization, between intuition and stereotyping. We need to remind ourselves, our students, and others that we are responsible for the conclusions we come to, for the narratives we create in our minds, and the actions we take in response.

Jay O'Shea

Author, martial artist, and empowerment self-defense instructor, Jay (Janet) O’Shea is the author of Risk, Failure, Play: What Dance Reveals about Martial Arts Training. Recipient of a UCLA Transdisciplinary Seed Grant to study the cognitive benefits of Filipino Martial Arts training, she gave a TEDx Talk on competitive play. She is Professor of World Arts and Cultures/Dance at UCLA.

Chipping Away at Rape Culture with Girls' Emotional Self-Defense Training

In "We Can Chip Away at Rape Culture by Teaching Girls Emotional Self-Defense," Thu-Huong Ha writes about empowerment self-defense (ESD) programs that teach girls--preteen and teens--how to say an effective "No" while also claiming their emotional and physical space. 

She addresses:

• The distinctive features of ESD
• The importance of practice
• Assertiveness is not aggressive
• Recognizing boundary violations
• ESD works
• The Future is forthright

Check out the full article where she draws upon the insights of many ESD instructors, including:

No Means No Worldwide Lee Paiva, Sun Dragon Susan Shorn, IMPACT Boston Meg Stone, Defend Yourself Lauren Taylor, Breaking Free Nadia Telsey, IMPACT Chicago Martha Thompson, Safe Passage Lynn Marie Wanamaker.

Our words matter

A community was outraged when it was discovered that a janitor had drilled holes in the girls’ restroom at a local high school,  taken photos, and had the photos on his laptop. He was fired and charges were filed against him. But the community was left with a swirl of emotions.

In “Words a Powerful Response to Violence,” Empowerment Self-Defense Instructor Lynne Marie Wanamaker offers a path for addressing the ripple effect such an experience has on the whole community by using our words to connect with others and support survivors when people in our communities experience violence.

How Can Empowerment Self-Defense Lift the Personal Burdens People Carry?

 As an IMPACT instructor I teach using Empowerment Self-Defense principles and see how this positively affects my students.  These principles influence how I plan classes, respond to student questions, and address prevalent myths and facts about interpersonal violence.

Infusing ESD Principles Into Teaching

ESD principles guide adaptation and customization of courses based on the participants enrolled. Adaptations take into account how various aspects of one’s identity affect: experiences of violence, choices about resistance or compliance, harm from rape culture, the aftermath of reporting, and obtaining justice. ESD principles apply to people of all ages and genders, with varying types of vulnerabilities and/or prior experiences of abuse/trauma/violence, those with learning differences, various physical disabilities and cognitive disabilities. Our ability to connect to our participants is enhanced by content relevance. ESD principles remind us to acknowledge the perspective and experiences of those who are not in the room - which may differ from those who are present.

• Space for self-reflection and critical thinking

Class participants learn skills and tools such as threat assessment, verbal and physical resistance. Additionally ESD guided instruction intentionally invites our participants to consider how their gender, age, ability, appearance, race, religion, social class, and sexual orientation (among other identity factors) influence their beliefs and attitudes about violence and their options for resistance.

Participants examine their reflexive and internalized beliefs (and where they came from) regarding resistance and their own power to interrupt violence and boundary violations.  They learn what research points to in terms of which resistance strategies are effective most of the time and why.  Ultimately, in the hands-on component of class, they connect new knowledge and experience to their own lives. This is a significant contribution towards reducing the burden of worry, and fear of helplessness, that narrow people’s lives.

• Space to let go of self-blame

Self-defense programs based on empowerment principles reflect on how rape culture influences who is blamed, who is believed and supported, the challenges of reporting, who the justice system works for, and who is excused and who is punished.

Making this explicit in class demonstrates to our students that we appreciate the decisions they have made for themselves, their range of experiences, and the choices and strategies they have chosen. It supports letting go of internalized blame and shame, as we are clear in assigning blame and fault to the perpetrator.

Violence is very personal and unfair. Nonetheless, it is important in our teaching to tie individual experiences to larger social systems that perpetuate this unfairness. Such connections can lift internal personal burdens about past experiences and their repercussions. What happened to me was indeed unfair and was the (predictable and intentional) outcome of biased systems.

• Space to ask BIG questions

In classes, children and teenagers often raise BIG questions: Why are people violent? Who would want to hurt kids? ESD principles help us answer these types of questions by linking violence to inequality and power. For example, on the spectrum of violence, we include mean words, put downs, and micro-aggressions as forms of verbal violence. Students readily generate that put downs are usually based on looks, ability, race, class, religion, likes and dislikes, gender or gender non-conformity, etc. (for example, your hair is weird, you got the worst grade on the math test, your clothes aren’t new or cool, your religion doesn’t have the “good” holidays, boys don’t like ballet, girls can’t play basketball.) We witness the weight of these prior negative experiences being released, as students understand that they were targeted (all or in part) based on one or more aspects of their identity versus something that they did wrong or an inherent lack of value as a human being.

• Space to sort myths and facts

We reference statistics about crime and about aggressors. ESD programs dispel myths about the frequency of stranger vs familiar crime, about armed vs unarmed assault, and intra-vs inter-racial crime. We address the effectiveness of different strategies of resistance as well as how the research data is collected and interpreted. By reviewing evidence-based information about interpersonal violence, we broaden participants understanding of the many forms violence takes. ESD principles help teachers acknowledge the many purely personal choices people make to stay safer. ESD classes cover a wide range of circumstances, depict a variety of different types of abusive behavior, and teach varied strategies for responding to specific situations. This customization makes the classes relevant and personal. ESD practitioners sort myths from facts, directly address the pervasiveness of violence in our culture, and seek to build empathy.

Carol Schaeffer, IMPACT and ESD Instructor

What is Empowerment Self-Defense?

Here is a sampling of how a few practitioners define Empowerment Self-Defense (ESD) and links to more details.

Empowerment Changes

“Empowerment Self Defense (ESD) is a specific type of self defense that adheres to standards developed from within the women’s self defense community… Empowerment Self Defense grew out of a social justice movement so it does not have a centralized home — its history and development are shared by many.”

Jay O’Shea

Empowerment self-defense is a “feminist, gender-inclusive self-defense system that treats violence as a tool of social control and self-defense as a means of changing this culture of violence.”

Sun Dragon Martial Arts

“This style of self defense focuses on feeling strong, safe, and respected in all situations. It brings attention to social issues like racism and sexism that teach us to tolerate violence and disrespect. We believe strongly that people who have survived violence should not be blamed for that violence.”

Susan Shorn

ESD is a “feminist, anti-racist, gender-inclusive approach to eradicating violence and fostering equality. Empowerment self-defense is based on the premise that, although only an aggressor is responsible for an assault, a defender has options when reacting to violence. ESD provides training for expanding these options.”

Lynne Marie Wanamaker

“Empowerment self defense (ESD) -- sometimes called ‘feminist empowerment self defense’ or ‘empowerment model self defense’ -- is a uniquely holistic, evidence-based, survivor-centered, feminist approach to self-protection skills.”

Is It Empowerment Self-Defense?

                                               

Is it Empowerment Self-Defense? A checklist for assessing in what ways a self-defense program meets standards of an empowerment self-defense(ESD) program. In an ESD program, most elements of philosophy, pedagogy, and methodology fall in the ESD column. Where there are gaps point to room for development.
	Non-ESD Program	ESD Program
Philosophy  (the underlying thinking)
Attention to social context of violence	Little to no attention	High attention
Source of violence	Individual problems (e.g. bad people)	Social issues (e.g. social structure of privilege & oppression)
Targets of violence	Little to no attention to social characteristics; focus on individual behaviors	Attention to intersections of gender, intellectual and physical abilities, race, sexual orientation, social class.
Perpetrators of violence	“Bad” people different from others	Indistinguishable from others—focus on behavior not on appearance or social status
Framing violence	Physical violence	Continuum of violence
Pedagogy  (the practice of teaching)
Students’ capabilities	Expose their weaknesses	Reveal their strengths
Respect	Hierarchical with the head instructor the most respected	Respect for all and what each brings
# and ease of learning tools	Many and takes time to learn and retain	Few and accessible
Types of tools	Physical fighting tools are the focus	A range of tools--awareness, assessment, verbal, physical tools, (breathing, escaping, fighting)
Application of tools	The instructor provides the mindset: “If this, then…”	Toolbox approach--defenders apply strategy, tools, principles based on their assessment of the situation.
Attention to trauma	Limited	High
Responsibility for violence	Risky behavior of target; morals and mental state of perpetrators	Perpetrator is responsible and focuses on those perceived as socially vulnerable and who likely will not be believed
Methodology  (the means of developing a self-defense system)
Source of knowledge	Tradition, instructors’ experiences	Research and evidence, students’ experiences
Process	Internal, closed, isolated from practitioners from other systems	Collaborative, open, networking
Goals	Making a name or a profit for oneself or system	Social justice and social change
Dealing with disagreement, conflict	Attacking, bullying, one-sided	Dialogue, Non-violent communication
Martha E. Thompson   First published 2/26/18 in "Empowering ≠ Empowerment Self-Defense"
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