Adriana Li: Expanding Empowerment and Safety

Adriana Li, IMPACT Boston

Below Adriana Li, IMPACT Boston Coach, and an IMPACT Boston Suit demonstrate a scenario of two co-workers who get along as friends at work and who have lots of healthy dialogue about social-political issues. The coach character is non-binary. The suit character is cis-gendered. 

SUIT: Hey how’s it going? Hey did you see that article that went viral, about the new trans-rights law? What did you think about that? 

COACH: Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something on that note. I meant to bring it up earlier. 

SUIT: Oh yeah, what’s up? 

COACH: I’ve given it some thought lately, and I love talking to you about politics, but I’m realizing when it comes to these kinds of things, especially around trans rights, I would prefer not to talk about it anymore. 

SUIT: Oh no, wait why is there something wrong? I thought you loved talking about it? Plus, I figured I’d ask you, you just know so much about it. 

COACH: I did, I’m just realizing I don’t feel like answering questions anymore. It can be a lot. I’m noticing it’s starting to make me uncomfortable. I think you mean well, and it’s great you want to learn so much, but I’m sure there’s other ways you can find out about these things. I’d prefer not to talk about it anymore. 

SUIT: Oh I’m sorry, I see that, but how come you didn’t tell me before? 

COACH: You’re right, I didn’t tell you before; I own that. I think because of the work dynamic I just didn’t want to make it awkward. But in the future, can we just keep it to other topics? 

SUIT: OK I get it, yes definitely I can do that. 

COACH: Thank you, I appreciate that.

Adriana Coaching 

Adriana says:

I wrote the above scenario because it shows how important it is to set boundaries with people we know and that we can change boundaries as things come up for us. LGBTQ-advocacy and setting boundaries when having conversations, even with well-intentions, can be emotionally taxing and may mean creating new parameters, despite the healthy relationship. It’s about reinforcing limits when things come up for us, and clearly communicating that to others around us.  

 I also know how important it is to have physical tools. I got out of a situation once by using a version of an eye strike--I didn't know how to do it technically but it worked and gives me confidence in the techniques we teach.

Teaching courses for the LGBTQ community is important to me, especially for LGBTQ youth and women of color. Because of my own background as a survivor and with those I know who have experienced violence, I want to focus on marginalized kids and teens and provide support and alternatives for trauma survivors. I am committed to teaching critical thinking skills and providing a vision of alternatives. I want to help people expand their visions and choices. I love that the structure of IMPACT means eventually our students do not need us to fall back on, they only need to trust themselves. 

Adriana presenting

I am part of the LGBTQ community and have been since I can remember. My mother is from southern China and my father is Puerto Rican. I was bullied and alienated as a kid for being uncommonly biracial. I graduated from Pine Manor College in theater. Out of college I was the Science Programs Coordinator for the Children's Museum of Boston. In addition to my theater background, I had a natural knack for working with youth. I’ve been with IMPACT for three years now. I originally worked with Triangle, the disability agency that houses IMPACT Boston. I was working as a coordinator for young adults with disabilities who were developing job skills and I was attending a Kung Fu school in Chinatown when one of the instructors recommended the IMPACT Basics Course to me. He happened to have been a suited instructor with IMPACT Boston several years before and he knew I was a survivor.

When I took the Women's Basics Class, I noticed I was the only student of color in the class. I was hyperaware that I was in a mostly-white space, something I was not used to in my college and childhood experiences. I've also noticed that hyperawareness by other people of color in programs that are predominately white. I am committed to creating safe spaces and providing space for conversations that are relevant to the experiences of people of color and all gender identities; for example, directly addressing systemic inequality and authority violence. One of my approaches for creating safer space in on-line programs is asking people to personally email me and share with me why they want to take the program. Online, the unfortunate reality is anyone could pretend to be in a specific community. By asking people to email me, I'm not only screening, but I'm making a personal connection.

I've had so much support from the IMPACT Boston staff and connecting with other IMPACT chapters and ESD organizations. I consulted with Linda Leu from IMPACT Bay Area about the Women of Color course. I helped train IMPACT Safety in Ohio in IMPACT: Ability and also helped in suit training for Turtle Mountain staff. My dream, in doing this work, is to see more people of color given platforms to be represented,and empowered, in spaces everywhere.

Based on an interview of Adriana Li July 2020 by Martha Thompson, IMPACT Chicago Lead Instructor and Admin Co-Team Leader.

Gender Inclusivity at IMPACT Chicago

IMPACT celebrates diverse gender identities and expressions, and affirms the rights of people of all genders to feel safe and respected. Our instructor team includes people who identify as women, men, and non-binary. While we are continually working to improve the inclusiveness of our programming, there are also limitations of some of our current courses and aspects that may not feel like a good fit for everyone. You can find specifics about our various programs HERE.

Gender Inclusivity in Women’s Self-Defense

What does it look like to incorporate gender inclusivity at an organization built around women’s self-defense? This was the topic of discussion for 13 IMPACT Chicago instructors, board members, staff, and volunteers at our recent gender training.

We began by pulling apart the concepts of sex, gender identity, gender expression, and sexual orientation, as well as the difference between binary and non-binary identities. We practiced IMPACT-specific scenarios on gender neutral language, pronouns, and answering inquiries. We identified aspects of clarity (for example, the Core program is absolutely open to trans women and women of diverse gender expressions), and questions without clear or one-size-fits-all answers, such as: is the Core program a good fit for someone who identifies as agender, or non-binary, or genderqueer?)

While talking about gender diversity and inclusion in IMPACT can seem like entering a new realm, it is really at the core of IMPACT’s work. While we are a self-defense organization for women and girls, IMPACT has always emphasized the diversity of womanhood and the variety of intersecting identities, experiences, and beliefs that each participant brings into a Core program or workshop. Furthermore, our mission calls on us to build a nonviolent world for all people, reflected in our all-gender workshops, bystander support training, and programming at LGBTQ organizations. So in many ways, discussing gender diversity and inclusion is just being more intentional and specific about values that have always been foundational to IMPACT.

As we work to both program for women and for gender inclusion, we believe it’s important to be honest about IMPACT’s strengths as well as limitations. For instance, the Core program may not feel like a great fit for people of all genders as a lot of discussion focuses on the experience of being a woman in our society--but with IMPACT’s 3 decades of expertise and variety of program options,  we can customize other workshops for all types of people. We look forward to ongoing discussions and trainings on this topic, and welcome the challenges and opportunities that come along with respecting and valuing gender diversity.

Rachel Marro
IMPACT Chicago Instructor-in-Training

Editor's Note:

Rachel led our gender workshop. She has 4 years of experience leading programs on LGBTQ identities and inclusion, and currently works at Northwestern University’s Institute for Sexual and Gender Minority Health and Wellbeing.