Passing It On: Being an IMPACT Mom

Martha with granddaughter & daughter

With Mother’s Day coming up this weekend, I have been thinking about IMPACT and parenting. I’ve been an IMPACT Instructor for 29 years, making me an IMPACT Mom since my daughter was 6. When she was a teenager, she would bring boys she was dating to IMPACT graduations. I now have a granddaughter and joyfully see my daughter and son-in-law teaching her consent and respect for her own and others’ boundaries.

In honor of Mother’s Day, I asked other IMPACT staff who are moms in what ways IMPACT has influenced their parenting. 

IMPACT Chicago Instructor Molly says:

As a parent, IMPACT has given me insight into teaching consent and respecting the requests of my children with regard to their bodies. I definitely have to stop myself sometimes when I find myself saying something that may seem innocuous, but upon reflection, is actually perpetuating negative ideas about consent. Being a parent is the hardest and best job I have ever had, and having complicated conversations is part of that. IMPACT has helped broaden my awareness of ways to counter the messages we receive about who we should be, what we should look like, and how we should behave toward each other.

Molly & daughter practicing their verbal boundary setting skills

IMPACT Chicago Office Coordinator Kathleen says:

My daughter was my motivator through Core. She was in my mind as I delivered blows with tears in my eyes. I’ve never been particularly afraid or concerned for my safety, but once she came into my life I worried for her. The greatest outcome of taking Core and DAAR was unexpected. Sure, I feel like I can protect myself and my daughter. That was the goal. But I didn’t realize that modeling strength would be so powerful. After taking Core and DAAR, after watching and learning from Katie, Margaret, Molly and Martha, after being supported and “threatened” by Rob, Mark, Ben and Nat, I walked away with a confidence that I didn’t expect. 

Kathleen & daughter

Parenting is hard and I really struggle with instilling my daughter with confidence and self-worth. She often tells me that she isn’t strong. She’s the smallest in her class and other kids tell her she isn’t strong, so she believes it. I put a lot of effort into reassuring her and building her up, but it barely makes a dent in her middle-school aged self-doubt. She is a child during a strange time when toys are labeled for either boys or girls, and girls are expected to start dreaming of their wedding when they are young. To try to counteract the more plentiful examples of meek, weak and helpless girls who give up much of themselves, I intentionally seek out movies and books with girls and women in strong lead roles. But since I’ve taken IMPACT classes I have another weapon against the weak girl stereotype. I make no secret of how badass taking those classes makes me feel. I tell her how strong I am. I tell her how strong my classmates are. I tell her how strong the teachers and my co-workers are. I didn’t expect IMPACT to affect my parenting. I didn’t know that I would walk away with the bonus to getting to model this level of strength and confidence to my child. She knows I am strong and she’s looking forward to taking the IMPACT Girls Program this summer so she can prove how strong she is.

It is very inspiring to realize ways that we all, whether Moms or not, can pass on what we have learned in IMPACT to the next generation and beyond.

Martha Thompson

IMPACT Instructor

Administrative Co-Chair

A Mother’s Day Gift to Span the Generation: Happiness that Comes from Empowerment

Interview with three generations of IMPACT graduates: Nilda (grandmother), Lili (mother) and Angie (daughter).

Angie: I was trying to explain, to my boyfriend at the time, about how great my first experience with IMPACT was, how excited I was to take another class and he was weirded-out [chuckles]. I encouraged him to come to the graduation, but, no, he couldn’t handle it. He saw me do a couple of muggings and he was nervous, because he noticed I had a smile on my face and wondered whether I was getting some enjoyment out of it. I tried to explain it wasn’t sadism, it was happiness that comes from empowerment. Needless to say, that relationship didn’t last much longer.

Nilda: It’s true, there’s a certain joy in knowing you have the tools and the wherewithal to ward off something aggressive from someone close to you.

Lili: There’s a freedom in knowing when my mother and my daughter go out; I don’t have to be concerned about them.

N: I feel the same.

L: Nilda’s best friend took IMPACT, too, shortly after Nilda did. When I think of them going out to plays, I think of them as double-trouble. Nobody out there could imagine that these two elderly ladies have this ability to take out bad guys. They would be quite surprised!

N: It’s true, what I learned in IMPACT. Even not knowing the why behind all this, I tried not to look like a victim and walk confidently, but I was scared. I have met so many women and I know only one person who has reached my age and hasn’t had anything happen to her. But, it may be that it’s the way she walked [in] her life. In most cases, they won’t consider IMPACT because they’re frightened to protect themselves.

L: As Angie said, “I don’t want to think about it”. At times, I’ve been very frustrated that I can’t convince someone that this is money and time well spent. I talk to a person I barely know and she jumps on it and I get to attend her graduation. Other people to whom I keep bringing it up, it doesn’t seem to go anywhere. How do you get women to sign up?

N: The excuse is “I’m not interested” or “I don’t have the time, my life is too complicated right now”. The information is out there and those who are ready will come across it. The Internet is the best way to find out about IMPACT. Before the Internet, I talked to a group of women on the Metra about IMPACT because I overheard them talking about how difficult it is to go about one’s business after nightfall. I just feel IMPACT has to be everywhere and easily accessible.

AC Racette interviewed Nilda, Lili, and Angie on December 21, 2012.

“I Love You Mom, Now Go Kick Butt.”

Forget the Cards and Roses. IMPACT Self-Defense Training Is a Mother’s Day Gift to Last a Lifetime.

Families in every town and city typically scramble to find a unique gift for Mom on Mother’s Day, a global tradition which was first cultivated in the U.S. nearly a century ago. With the big day approaching, time is running out to find the perfect way to honor the mothers in our lives.

While it may be tempting to pick up a trinket or box of chocolates again this year, loved ones can instead pack a punch—literally—with a gift of IMPACT self-defense training. “Giving your mother a self-defense course for a gift is unique because it is not something she can wear, eat or look at,” comments IMPACT Chicago Director Martha Thompson. “Instead she will enhance her verbal and physical safety tools, something she will carry with her the rest of her life.

More than ninety-five percent of women who experience IMPACT’s flagship 24-hour CORE training report a substantial increase in confidence and self-awareness. “IMPACT taught me that I am powerful!” exclaims Arden, a recent Core Program graduate. “I learned how to assess situations and set boundaries as well as how to defend myself. Basically I walked away feeling freed from a life of fear.” Arden felt so profoundly altered by the IMPACT course, in fact, that she convinced her mother Victoria to sign up. “I’m so glad I did it,” notes Victoria who took IMPACT Core Skills at Northeastern Illinois University.

Students of IMPACT develop their fighting spirit and skills in a safe, female-led environment. In a variety of realistic attack scenarios, participants use full-force strikes—such as the palm heel and ax kick—on padded attackers. In more intense scenarios, women may lay prone on a mat, pretending to sleep when a rapist intrudes. In order to process their emotions after such scenarios, women gather together in a circle to check in with one another and express their feelings, which range from fear and rage to relief and even elation.

Participants develop a greater sense of their own power. “Women are taught all their lives that they are weak, but that’s just not the case,” says instructor Rob Babcock, who celebrated 12 years with IMPACT in 2010. “Men generally have greater upper-body strength, but women’s legs and hips are incredibly strong.”

Evanston resident Jan still remembers those lessons well. She participated in IMPACT training 20 years ago, just two years after the program’s inception. To her great satisfaction, Jan was recently able to treat daughters Riley and Morgan to Teen IMPACT, a special course tailored specifically to the needs of that age group. “As a mother, I always knew I wanted them to take the class before they left for college,” Jan explains. And the girls are grateful for their mother’s resolve. “It’s just as important for teenagers to take the class as it is for mothers,” they note.

Usually held over three or more days, IMPACT’s 24-hour Core Program training runs $395 (or $16 an hour), all of which goes toward instructor fees and the organization’s high operating costs with regard to insurance coverage and equipment. Financial assistance is available to women who find the course fees prohibitive. “We will work with any woman or girl to figure out a way for her to take one of our programs,” assures Thompson, herself the mother of a 29-year-old daughter.

Cathie Bazzon

IMPACT Core Program grad

Rogers Park Community Council

Director, Senior Initiatives Program