My husband dropped me off at my therapist and went to park
the car. I was early so I felt relaxed as I approached the doors leading into
the reception area. As I reached toward the door, a man spoke authoritatively: “Don’t
touch that door!” and then hit the accessible entrance button. As the door opened
I said, “Thank you for opening the door, but you startled me.” He didn’t
respond. I walked through the first door toward the second door when he again
spoke with authority, “Don’t touch that door!”
This second command triggered flashbacks. When I was 17, a
friend of a friend opened a door, cornered me, and then raped me. Now here I
was in two places at once. I knew where I was and yet I was frozen. I heard my
IMPACT instructors Martha and Mark encouraging me to pay attention and I was
aware that my guard was up.
The second door opened as soon as the first door closed and
as the man brushed past me he said, “Well, I’m glad that’s finally working
again.” He walked into the offices, apparently done testing the doors. I asked
the receptionist, “Is that the maintenance man?” She said, “No, he is our CEO.”
I asked her to ask him to come out to the reception area.
He came out, moving very close to me, and asked if he could
help me. I put up my hands and said, “Take a step back. You are the CEO for a counseling center. Have
you had any training on understanding people who are going through counseling?”
“No, I work on the business side.”
“I’m coming here for therapy and by your behavior you just
recreated the situation in which I am receiving counseling for.”
He was embarrassed and reached out his arm to lead me as he
said, “Let’s step into my office.”
I put my hands up and said, “Back up. You don’t command
someone in a counseling center not to touch a door.” He tried to interrupt me
and I wouldn’t let him. I said, “I am telling you this because you are the CEO.
You are not listening to me. Stop speaking and hear what I am saying.” When I recognized
that he was not listening, I said, “You’ve proven to me that you are not
listening to what I’m saying. Go back to your office.”
My head was spinning and I was very angry but I felt Martha on
my left and Mark on my right and that they were supporting me while IMPACT was
coming out of my mouth. My husband entered the building as I was speaking to
the CEO. He told me later that I was very firm, held my ground, and was very
articulate. He noticed that I had one hand on my hip and asked me about that. I
said, “I was in a position to elbow him if he came after me when I turned to go
to my therapist’s office.”
I was trembling as I went upstairs to my therapist’s office.
There was a young man there and I started talking to him. I told him what
happened. He was mellow and calm and I noted that. He said his situation
happened in an uber car and that he is working on being calm. He said I am in
my teens and I’m trying to have a better adult life. I felt so proud of this
young man for taking care of himself. I felt so good that I had him to talk to
at that moment.
When I left, the receptionist gave me a hug and said, “You
did everything right.” I took the Core
Program in 2003 and then Defense Against Multiple Assailants several years ago.
I feel like IMPACT gets stronger for me every year.
Michelle Schmitt
