Empowerment Self-Defense (ESD) can play a role
in reducing violence against boys and men and improve community safety.
ESD Instructors care about everyone’s
experiences and believe everyone has the right to live free from violence.
Self-defense has mistakenly come to be understood as solely a women’s issue and
as primarily focused on physical responses. Interpersonal violence is a
societal problem that affects all genders. Physical resistance is only one of
many possible options for response. Men (from here forward men is inclusive of male-identified people of any
age) have their own challenges to practicing and using behaviors that can increase
their safety, make it more likely they will be believed and supported, and
improve access to recovery. It is critical to address situations such as sexual
assault and rape, bar fights and schoolyard conflicts, hazing and bullying,
abusive parents and abusive partners - both for ones’ safety as an individual
and to interrupt the cycle of interpersonal violence.
Our programs are guided by ESD principles.
This includes examining the social and cultural norms that create
vulnerabilities for specific populations, such as men, to be targeted for
violence. Social norms can also be an influence when committing acts of abuse
and violence. Men’s safety may be at
risk when they act out violence as well. They may experience physical injury
even if they were the aggressor and they could be criminalized and/or face other
consequences if they victimize others.
Men sometimes face choosing between being
victimized, being an active bystander, or siding with the aggressor. For
example, witnesses to bullying may be forced to decide whether to ignore the
bully’s actions or speak up and risk becoming the next target. An individual
may find themselves being both a target of violence as well as an
aggressor. In situations such as
fraternity pledging, someone may be the target of tests of bravery, pain
tolerance, and humiliation freshman year. Once a member, they may then test
freshman in following years.
Space to be more authentic apart from adherence to gender scripts helps
interrupt the cycle of violence
A classroom based on ESD principles
facilitates an environment where men and boys can learn safety skills without
the pressures of hierarchy and competition. ESD programs:
·
Examine the utility of gender
scripts and “guy code” for responding to violence and reframe strength (not
just brute force) and “winning” (anything to end or interrupt the encounter,
including walking away and de-escalation).
·
Provide skills and tools where
size, weight class, athleticism, and previous combative experience are not
relevant.
·
Decouple fighting
arts/self-defense from masculine culture and masculine spaces.
·
Minimize intra-student competition
through practice and role-play only with instructors. Additionally,
participants don’t receive rankings.
·
Make no assumptions about gender
and previous knowledge - everyone gets to learn together.
·
Provide opportunities for
participants to talk about their responses to this material, such as
acknowledging that one doesn't like fighting, or that it is
hard/scary/triggering to be on the receiving end of aggression, even simulated
aggression.
·
Create space to connect with other
men and explore emotions without reacting to them with anger, pride, need for
control.
·
Provide a safer space to ask for
and give support to others. This can be especially valuable for men who face
constraints about reporting and asking for help, such as internalized shame and
blame.
·
Value participants for who they
are, regardless of their social status, money, success, or looks.
·
Honor choices about participation
and limits.
Space to
reflect on the lived experiences and abilities of oneself and others helps
interrupt the cycle of violence
ESD programs explicitly provide opportunities
for participants to share their own history of violent or abusive experiences
and/or to hear about classmates’ lived experiences. For men it might be the
first time that they share what it felt like to be targeted for violence. Many
experience relief to learn they aren’t alone in their experiences and emotions.
In all gender or mixed gender classes, it
might be the first time they become aware of the way people with different
genders experience abuse and violence. They may learn how other people daily
address safety concerns and how they organize and limit their lives to reduce
their risk of being targeted.
In ESD programs staffed by mixed gender
teaching teams, men get to experience being taught and coached by women as
leaders in the class - an explicit choice to model less traditional gender
roles. Observation of mixed gender instructors and mixed gender co-students
invites men to expand their view of women’s capacity to resist violence, to
lead, and to be strong in a variety of different ways. Many men leave class
committed to be better allies to people of all genders.
Space
to heal from experiences of violence such as abuse and neglect helps interrupt
the cycle of violence
ESD programs teach valuable tools that may
prevent interpersonal violence and help people heal. Research suggests a
statistically significant connection between experiencing abuse and neglect as
a child and being charged with criminal offenses as an adult. Participants may connect how their early experiences shape who they are now and
provide insights into how they respond to triggers such as stress, verbal
aggression, and intense emotions such as anger or rejection. Classes offer
support, new skills, and alternatives to violence when aroused/adrenalized
through grounding exercises, breath control and pacing. Role plays provide
opportunities to explore strategic responses designed to match levels of
response to levels of threat. Participants experience an embodied sense of
power and safety that isn’t defined by control or domination of another person.
ESD programs examine gender role messages and
how those messages may have influenced past behavior or beliefs. Young people
socialized into hyper-masculinity and beliefs about distinct, binary, gender
roles may perpetuate hierarchical systems that condone or encourage violent
behaviors (sports team hazing) and may commit violence, sexual assault, and /or
relationship abuse. Research suggests
that fear of emotions, gender
role stress, and
gender role enforcement are
connected to violence against gay men and women.
Restrictive social and cultural norms are
challenged as students learn and practice a spectrum of avoidance strategies
and verbal skills. Expanding response
choices beyond all or nothing (punk out and cower or come back hard and go to
blows) is critical for trauma survivors, for folks who might face unfair and
severe consequences for self-defense, and for those who don’t want to use
physical self-defense as a means to counter violence.
Ernest Wawiorko
ESD and Impact Instructor
Baugher, Amy R. and Julie A.Gazmararian. 2015. Masculine gender
role stress and violence: A literature review and future directions. Aggression and Violent Behavior 24: 107-112
Jakupcak, Matthew. 2003. Masculine Gender Role Stress and Men's
Fear of Emotions as Predictors of Self-Reported Aggression and Violence. Violence and
Victims 18 (5)5 : 533-41.
Moore, Todd M., Stuart, Gregory L., McNulty, James K., Addis,
Michael E., Cordova, James V., Temple, Jeff R. 2008. Domains of masculine
gender role stress and intimate partner violence in a clinical sample of
violent men., Psychology of Men &
Masculinity 9(2): 82-89
Parrott, Dominic J. 2009. Aggression Toward Gay Men as Gender Role Enforcement: Effects of
Male Role Norms, Sexual Prejudice, and Masculine Gender Role Stress Journal of Personality 77(4): 1137-1166.
Widom, Cathy Spatz. 1989. The Cycle of Violence. Science 244 (April): 160-166.
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